How to Help Someone Experiencing Domestic Violence

Quick Summary: If someone you care about may be experiencing domestic violence, listen without judgment, validate their feelings, and offer options without pressure. Avoid ultimatums, blaming, or insisting they “just leave.” Focus on safety, choice, and compassionate support. You don’t have to have all the answers—being present matters.

Understanding the Situation

Domestic violence is about power and control, and leaving is often the most dangerous time for a survivor. At SAAFE House in Huntsville, TX, we support individuals across Walker, Trinity, San Jacinto, and Polk counties who are navigating incredibly complex situations. When a friend or loved one opens up about abuse—physical, emotional, financial, or sexual—your response can make a meaningful difference.

How You Can Help

1. Listen without judgment.
Give them space to talk at their own pace. Avoid asking “why did you stay?” or “why didn’t you tell me sooner?” These questions can feel blaming, even if that’s not your intent.

2. Validate their feelings.
Let them know you believe them and that the abuse is not their fault. Survivors often feel isolated, ashamed, or unsure of themselves—your reassurance helps counter those feelings.

3. Offer options, not pressure.
Share resources and support, but let them decide what feels safest. You can say things like: “There are people who can help you create a safety plan if you ever want that.”

4. Respect their boundaries and pace.
They may not be ready to take action right away. Your patience builds trust and keeps communication open.

5. Check in regularly.
Gentle, consistent support shows them they’re not alone—this is especially important when the survivor feels cut off from friends or family.

What You Can Say

Here’s a simple script if you’re unsure how to start:

“I’m really glad you shared this with me. I want you to know that none of this is your fault. You deserve to feel safe and respected. I’m here for you, and whenever you’re ready, we can talk about options. SAAFE House in Huntsville has confidential services if you’d ever like to reach out. You don’t have to decide anything right now.”

Safety Tips to Keep in Mind

Be mindful of technology. Devices may be monitored. Avoid sending sensitive messages unless the survivor confirms it’s safe.

Don’t confront the abusive partner. This can escalate danger for both you and the survivor.

Help them plan for safety. Encourage creating a safety plan, gathering important documents, and identifying safe contacts or places—but only if it’s safe for them to do so.

Support their decisions—even if you disagree. A survivor knows their situation best. Your role is to empower, not direct.

Where to Find Help

SAAFE House provides free, confidential services including emergency shelter, crisis intervention, counseling, advocacy, and a 24/7 hotline for anyone impacted by domestic or sexual violence. If you or someone you care about needs support, you can reach out confidentially here:
https://www.saafehouse.org/contact

You don’t have to navigate this alone—compassionate help is available.