Jealousy - intense envy and almost paranoia can lead to isolation of the victim.
Example: The victim cannot look, notice or speak to a member of the opposite sex; cannot go out alone or with friends.

Home Life - has experienced violence or witnessed abusive situations in the home as a child.
Example: Father abuses mother; brother abuses wife or girlfriend; abused as a child by parent or siblings.

Quick Temper, Low Impulse Control - will strike out using violence quickly; easily provoked to anger; uses a lot of physical aggression to solve problems.

Substance Abuse - uses alcohol and/or drugs regularly.
Example: Abusing person claims, “I wouldn’t have done it if I hadn’t been drunk.” The victim excuses behavior, “He only hits me when he’s been drinking.”

Rigid Role Expectations - fantasy approach to life, women fit into only one role: dependent, submissive, compliant; men fit only one role: boss, decision-maker, dominant, macho.

Controlling & Dictatorial - completely rules the relationship; other person’s point of view not important; their opinions, attitudes, beliefs must always prevail, wants abusive control.
Example: Dictates and controls victim’s dress, make-up, hair style, choice of friends, etc.

Displaced Aggression – The abuser consciously or unconsciously finding fault with something that is not related to the problem at hand.
Example: Abuser feels angry because o f something that happens at school, work or home, then hits their girlfriend.

Hitting Walls, Throwing Objects, Name Calling - gestures that usually lead to physical violence.

Dr. Jekyll - Mr. Hyde Personality, Dual Personality - extreme mood swings. Many victims are confused by their abuser’s ‘sudden’ changes in mood -- they will describe that one minute they would be nice and the next minute they would explode.

Low Self-Esteem - poor self image; putting others down helps their feel better about their self.

Blames Others for Their Problems - if they are chronically unemployed, someone is always doing them wrong -- out to get them. They may make mistakes and then blame the victim for upsetting them and keeping them from concentrating or doing their job. They will tell the victim they are at fault for almost anything that goes wrong.

Blame Others for Their Feelings – The Abuse will tell the victim, “you make me mad”, “you’re hurting me by not doing what I ask”, “I can’t help being angry”. They really make the decision about what they think and feel, but will use ‘feelings’ to manipulate the victim.

Isolation - the abuser tries to cut the victim off from all resources. The abuser accuses people of “causing trouble” who are the victim’s support system. The abuser may want to live in the country without a phone. They may not let the victim use the car, or they may try to keep the victim from working or going to school.

Cruelty to Animals or Children - punishes animals brutally or is insensitive to their pain or suffering. The abuser may expect children to be capable of doing things far beyond their ability or they may tease children or young brothers and sisters until they cry.
Example: Whips a two year old for wetting their diaper.

Hates Mother - strong negative feelings toward the mother; talks harshly or degradingly about mother or women in general.